Comments on: How Hellish Is “Time Out”? http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/ By Russell D. Moore. Russell D. Moore serves as the teaching pastor at Highview Baptist Church in Louisville, Ky. In addition, Dr. Moore is the Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice President for Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Find sermons and other resources to help Christians engage the culture from a biblical worldview at www.russellmoore.com. Sun, 12 Feb 2012 02:01:53 +0000 By: HowAmazingHeIs. http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-152 HowAmazingHeIs. Sun, 11 Jan 2009 20:41:43 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-152 I am a 15 year old Teenager and love kids, I usually take care of my 6 little sisters while my mom just sits and watches. My dad works during the day so while I'm at school I feel bad because I feel like more of a mother to them than a sister so I always try to get home faster by getting a ride right after school and not riding the bus. I love them so much that I miss them during the day, ME and all of them never fight, But they do. So I try my hardest to tell them to love one another as God has loved them. My father is a pastor and so we were all raised under good morals. I try to tell my mom not to put them in time out because she does it in a kind of way to GET AWAY from them, which is not LOVE. She says she's trying to help them for love but in reality it's not... See, I want the best for my sisters, just as any caring loving sister would. When a situation comes up such as hitting I sit them down and talk to them. For example Lilly and Anna (4 year old twins) Started hitting eachother and when they hit it's rough, so they both started crying. I calmed them down and said "Why would you hit eachother if you guys are sisters? You don't hit me do you? Does Jesus hit others? Does he want to hit others?" They immeadiatly understood, and said sorry and hugged eachother, I was so proud... Time out is not needed, kids understand, they're like sponges. I just thought I should share, have a wonderful evening everyone and I hope you enjoyed this! God Bless. I am a 15 year old Teenager and love kids, I usually take care of my 6 little sisters while my mom just sits and watches. My dad works during the day so while I’m at school I feel bad because I feel like more of a mother to them than a sister so I always try to get home faster by getting a ride right after school and not riding the bus. I love them so much that I miss them during the day, ME and all of them never fight, But they do. So I try my hardest to tell them to love one another as God has loved them. My father is a pastor and so we were all raised under good morals. I try to tell my mom not to put them in time out because she does it in a kind of way to GET AWAY from them, which is not LOVE. She says she’s trying to help them for love but in reality it’s not… See, I want the best for my sisters, just as any caring loving sister would. When a situation comes up such as hitting I sit them down and talk to them. For example Lilly and Anna (4 year old twins) Started hitting eachother and when they hit it’s rough, so they both started crying. I calmed them down and said “Why would you hit eachother if you guys are sisters? You don’t hit me do you? Does Jesus hit others? Does he want to hit others?” They immeadiatly understood, and said sorry and hugged eachother, I was so proud… Time out is not needed, kids understand, they’re like sponges.

I just thought I should share, have a wonderful evening everyone and I hope you enjoyed this!

God Bless.

]]> By: Faith Earl http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-151 Faith Earl Thu, 08 Jan 2009 21:17:21 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-151 Thank you, that was so beautifully said. I could never understand the concept of time out and therefore did not use it. I read the Bible, believed it and followed it. My oldest child is now leading worship in our church for the last 6 years, the next child teaches Junior Church and a week night Bible group for non-churched children as well as working in our sound room on alternate Sunday mornings and our last child helps with Children's Church and the weekly children's Bible classes. Most importantly, they all love Jesus and witness about His goodness in their lives. I do not take the credit, Jesus gets it all! His ways are higher than my ways. Praise Him, Faith Thank you, that was so beautifully said. I could never understand the concept of time out and therefore did not use it. I read the Bible, believed it and followed it. My oldest child is now leading worship in our church for the last 6 years, the next child teaches Junior Church and a week night Bible group for non-churched children as well as working in our sound room on alternate Sunday mornings and our last child helps with Children’s Church and the weekly children’s Bible classes. Most importantly, they all love Jesus and witness about His goodness in their lives.
I do not take the credit, Jesus gets it all! His ways are higher than my ways.

Praise Him,
Faith

]]> By: Mysti http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-150 Mysti Thu, 08 Jan 2009 20:04:32 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-150 I have attended parenting classes conducted by a Christian child psychologist who recommends time-out. He teaches "reality discipline." "Reality discipline" has the consequences for a child resemble the consequences they might expect in real life one day and holding the child accountable for their behavior. For example, with time-out, I find it to resemble what will happen to a child if in the outside world they act disrespectfully, lie etc... In the real world people do not want to be around those kind of people and they distance themselves. So, time-out shows the child that they will have to spend time alone and not be invited to be involved when their actions/behavior are not tolerable. Is it wrong to teach that lesson? I have attended parenting classes conducted by a Christian child psychologist who recommends time-out. He teaches “reality discipline.”
“Reality discipline” has the consequences for a child resemble the consequences they might expect in real life one day and holding the child accountable for their behavior. For example, with time-out, I find it to resemble what will happen to a child if in the outside world they act disrespectfully, lie etc… In the real world people do not want to be around those kind of people and they distance themselves. So, time-out shows the child that they will have to spend time alone and not be invited to be involved when their actions/behavior are not tolerable. Is it wrong to teach that lesson?

]]> By: Patricia Angus http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-149 Patricia Angus Thu, 08 Jan 2009 17:55:55 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-149 All I can say is wow.I never realized what time out meant. Extended time out, I now see does more harm than good. All I can say is wow.I never realized what time out meant. Extended time out, I now see does more harm than good.

]]> By: Time Out as a Form of Discipline? « Abraham’s Offspring http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-148 Time Out as a Form of Discipline? « Abraham’s Offspring Mon, 22 Dec 2008 19:29:10 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-148 [...] Dr. Russell Moore is the Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice-President for Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. His recent blog post on “time out” is worth the read. [...] [...] Dr. Russell Moore is the Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice-President for Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky. His recent blog post on “time out” is worth the read. [...]

]]> By: Weekend Walkabout, December 20, 2008 | The Daily Scroll http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-147 Weekend Walkabout, December 20, 2008 | The Daily Scroll Sat, 20 Dec 2008 10:02:07 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-147 [...] How Hellish is ‘Time Out’? - Russell Moore [...] [...] How Hellish is ‘Time Out’? - Russell Moore [...]

]]> By: Tracy Funk http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-146 Tracy Funk Fri, 19 Dec 2008 04:14:33 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-146 On 12/16 Mike comments that some children need spanking while others do not, there was a time I would have really agreed with this, but I no longer do. I have three sons, 2 grown and one almost. I have two wild boys who were disciplined much with a wooden spoon and a not so wild boy that wasn't. The wild boys love the Lord, appreciate discipline in their lives, are thankful they receive(d) it and are most likely to sincerely apologize when in wrong. My not so wild boy, who did not need spankings because he was so pitiful when punished is far from God, resents any punishments he received, and never apologizes. I realize my experience isn't scientific, but I wish all those time outs my not so wild boy got had been spankings just like his brothers. And besides from being sent to prison, how much are time outs like the real world that we are raising our children to be in and not of? I feel that timeouts might not be hell, but might be the beginning of the road to it. On 12/16 Mike comments that some children need spanking while others do not, there was a time I would have really agreed with this, but I no longer do. I have three sons, 2 grown and one almost. I have two wild boys who were disciplined much with a wooden spoon and a not so wild boy that wasn’t. The wild boys love the Lord, appreciate discipline in their lives, are thankful they receive(d) it and are most likely to sincerely apologize when in wrong. My not so wild boy, who did not need spankings because he was so pitiful when punished is far from God, resents any punishments he received, and never apologizes. I realize my experience isn’t scientific, but I wish all those time outs my not so wild boy got had been spankings just like his brothers. And besides from being sent to prison, how much are time outs like the real world that we are raising our children to be in and not of? I feel that timeouts might not be hell, but might be the beginning of the road to it.

]]> By: Eric Schumacher http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-145 Eric Schumacher Thu, 18 Dec 2008 20:21:48 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-145 Dr. Moore - Head bump "WWF-style"? Didn't the WWF become the WWE a long time ago -- like back when your boy Vanilla Ice melted out of style? Or were you actually referring to the World Wildlife Fund (http://www.wwf.org/)? (In which case, is a WWF head-bump like what rams do?) All joking aside - Have a Merry Christmas!!! Dr. Moore -

Head bump “WWF-style”?

Didn’t the WWF become the WWE a long time ago — like back when your boy Vanilla Ice melted out of style?

Or were you actually referring to the World Wildlife Fund (http://www.wwf.org/)? (In which case, is a WWF head-bump like what rams do?)

All joking aside - Have a Merry Christmas!!!

]]> By: Isaac http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-144 Isaac Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:47:33 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-144 Mike, There is a strain of thought that extends timeout for a half hour to hours. I think the big issue is not what certain children need (although I can see the point in terms of time outs to consider the situation), but the atmosphere of the household. Is the prevailing attitude one of graciousness, in which sin cuts one off from fellowship and discipline restores it? Or is the prevailing attitude one of merit in which if you are good you can continue to commune with the rest of the family? In that sense, I think it is clear where discipline and punishment fit in the respective schemes. I think the difference will affect the way the child thinks about how abundant the grace of God is. my 2 cents, Isaac Mike,

There is a strain of thought that extends timeout for a half hour to hours.

I think the big issue is not what certain children need (although I can see the point in terms of time outs to consider the situation), but the atmosphere of the household. Is the prevailing attitude one of graciousness, in which sin cuts one off from fellowship and discipline restores it? Or is the prevailing attitude one of merit in which if you are good you can continue to commune with the rest of the family? In that sense, I think it is clear where discipline and punishment fit in the respective schemes. I think the difference will affect the way the child thinks about how abundant the grace of God is.

my 2 cents,
Isaac

]]> By: Russell D. Moore http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-143 Russell D. Moore Tue, 16 Dec 2008 22:56:41 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-143 Jeremy, If you ever graduate with a more terminal degree, I will head-bump you, WWF-style. I promise. Jeremy, If you ever graduate with a more terminal degree, I will head-bump you, WWF-style. I promise.

]]> By: Jeremy Jessen http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-142 Jeremy Jessen Tue, 16 Dec 2008 17:52:30 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-142 [Insert fist bump here] [Insert fist bump here]

]]> By: Lizette http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-141 Lizette Tue, 16 Dec 2008 06:23:47 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-141 I think a reunion would be a GREAT idea. You do realize that all you have to do is print off a roster and put Debbie in charge and it will happen! I think a reunion would be a GREAT idea. You do realize that all you have to do is print off a roster and put Debbie in charge and it will happen!

]]> By: Mike http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-140 Mike Tue, 16 Dec 2008 05:24:09 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-140 nice, well-thought-out post, i think you have to be flexible with discipline. i'm not sure what "extended" time-out is, but some children may need it, while others may need spanking, while ALL children need loving explanations of expectations and reasons for punishment. and punishment vs. discipline sounds like a classic semantic issue, but i get your point. nice, well-thought-out post,

i think you have to be flexible with discipline. i’m not sure what “extended” time-out is, but some children may need it, while others may need spanking, while ALL children need loving explanations of expectations and reasons for punishment. and punishment vs. discipline sounds like a classic semantic issue, but i get your point.

]]> By: How Hellish Is “Time Out”? by Russell Moore « Above Every Name http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-139 How Hellish Is “Time Out”? by Russell Moore « Above Every Name Mon, 15 Dec 2008 23:47:42 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-139 [...] Read the rest Here [...] [...] Read the rest Here [...]

]]> By: Russell D. Moore http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-138 Russell D. Moore Mon, 15 Dec 2008 23:29:40 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-138 Lizette, Alright stop, collaborate, and listen. Do you do gospel puppet shows for the girls you babysit like you used to do in the famous systematic theology 8 am class of 2001? I promise I'm going to have a reunion of that class, maybe for the 2009 SBC? Lizette, Alright stop, collaborate, and listen. Do you do gospel puppet shows for the girls you babysit like you used to do in the famous systematic theology 8 am class of 2001? I promise I’m going to have a reunion of that class, maybe for the 2009 SBC?

]]> By: jimmy scroggins http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-137 jimmy scroggins Mon, 15 Dec 2008 21:31:44 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-137 The children in my household think time out is hilarious. My goal as a Dad is for my children to receive swift, firm, loving discipline, accompanied by clear explanation and complete forgiveness.....it usually comes in the form of a spanking. And it ain't funny. Great point as always Russ. No doubt that a child's understanding of the Heavenly Father is largely shaped by the experiences they have with his earthly father. No pressure. The children in my household think time out is hilarious. My goal as a Dad is for my children to receive swift, firm, loving discipline, accompanied by clear explanation and complete forgiveness…..it usually comes in the form of a spanking. And it ain’t funny.

Great point as always Russ. No doubt that a child’s understanding of the Heavenly Father is largely shaped by the experiences they have with his earthly father. No pressure.

]]> By: Lizette http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-136 Lizette Mon, 15 Dec 2008 19:32:48 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-136 Thanks for a great post--even for babysitters! I tend to resort to "time out" too quickly just for peace and quiet. This reminds me that the use of discipline is as much a part of my relationship and spiritual influence with these precious girls as our "big girl" outings, praying together, and sharing encouragement from the Bible. Thanks for a great post–even for babysitters! I tend to resort to “time out” too quickly just for peace and quiet. This reminds me that the use of discipline is as much a part of my relationship and spiritual influence with these precious girls as our “big girl” outings, praying together, and sharing encouragement from the Bible.

]]> By: Jeffrey Robison http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-135 Jeffrey Robison Mon, 15 Dec 2008 17:03:42 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-135 Dr. Moore, you are always reasonable, logical, and practical. Keep standing for biblical truth in an age unreasonable, illogical, and impractical ideas that parade in the name of "tolerance." Dr. Moore, you are always reasonable, logical, and practical. Keep standing for biblical truth in an age unreasonable, illogical, and impractical ideas that parade in the name of “tolerance.”

]]> By: Jonathon http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-134 Jonathon Mon, 15 Dec 2008 15:34:16 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-134 "Discipline is not punishment." That helps a lot. Thanks for the follow-up post. It helps a lot. “Discipline is not punishment.” That helps a lot.

Thanks for the follow-up post. It helps a lot.

]]> By: Jonathan Baird http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-133 Jonathan Baird Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:43:55 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-133 Excellent post Dr. Moore! Excellent post Dr. Moore!

]]> By: Chris Bonts http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-132 Chris Bonts Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:21:49 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-132 Amen! Well said Dr. Moore Amen! Well said Dr. Moore

]]> By: David Hardgrave http://www.russellmoore.com/2008/12/15/how-hellish-is-time-out/#comment-131 David Hardgrave Mon, 15 Dec 2008 14:03:39 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=1588#comment-131 Moore is spot on. I would echo the critique of the extended time out by adding that it actually removes the child from the presence of the parents exactly when it is most needed. Godly Discipline is a gracious act and as such, it should emulate the gracious and tender mannor in which the Father shepherds his children. Moore is spot on. I would echo the critique of the extended time out by adding that it actually removes the child from the presence of the parents exactly when it is most needed. Godly Discipline is a gracious act and as such, it should emulate the gracious and tender mannor in which the Father shepherds his children.

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