Comments on: Should I Tell My Child He Was Conceived in Rape? My Response

By: fishy

fishy — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 05:21:47 +0000

I want to pose the question: is it necessary for him to know at all? If it’s possible to keep it from him, mightn’t that be better?

By: Tae

Tae — Sat, 01 May 2010 21:28:38 +0000

Dr. Moore,

I so appreciate your response and your heart to bring God’s love and truth into hard situations. My husband and I have been so blessed by your book, Adopted for Life. I hope I can relay the wisdom and clarity that God has given you (both in the book and on this site), as I speak to others about similarly difficult situations.

Thank you.
Tae

By: Latest Links | blog of dan

Latest Links | blog of dan — Mon, 26 Apr 2010 12:04:34 +0000

[...] Should I Tell My Child He Was Conceived in Rape? My Response [...]

By: Around the Interweb (04/25) « Blogging Theologically

Around the Interweb (04/25) « Blogging Theologically — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 10:01:19 +0000

[...] Dr. Moore is asked, “Should I tell my child he was conceived in rape?” [...]

By: Tim Holmes

Tim Holmes — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 01:52:10 +0000

I’m sorry this is on your plate. I’m not sure you would hve been given this burden if God didn’t have something in mind to do through you. Apparently, and I might add, in beautiful fashion, He already has. I Honestly believe you will be shown the perfect time to share this news with your son. And with the gift that you already are as a husband and a father, any thoughts of predisposition will fade. Praying now for that day. If it were any of us, we would want to know something like this. So I believe timing is everything. Plus, he has an earthly Daddy as well as an eternal one, who will love him through. Love wins.

By: Eden

Eden — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 02:08:48 +0000

@Jason, Thank you for sharing your story. You have spoken into my life; rather, using your words, God had spoken into my heart the assurance of His love for me. Your sons are truly blessed to have such a man for their earthly father. And their mother is truly blessed in the husband given her by the Lord.

By: Eden

Eden — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 02:04:03 +0000

I was 14-15 yr old when circumstances forced my “parents” to reveal to me the truth - that I was not their child but they had taken me in following my mother’s abandonment of her marriage and her baby (I was less than a yr old), then soon after my father’s deciding he was not able to care for me himself. He passed me off to his brother and sister-in-law, who had a daughter of their own just a month older that I. Long way to get to the point. My new “parents” were not Christians. They loved me the best they were able and I am grateful today to the Lord for having placed me a stable, secure environment. BUT — I felt unimaginably betrayed. I felt as if my entire life had been a lie. I wondered what, if anything, was true. And I think, between the original abandonment by my parents early on compounded by the revelation of the deception, that I was never able to believe from that point on that my “parents” truly loved me; and consequently it is very difficult for me to believe that my heavenly Father truly loves me. (By His grace He opened my heart to receive faith in Jesus 15 years ago, when I was 48.)

Bottom line — ABSOLUTELY begin at once to tell the child the truth, with all the assurance of their love for and acceptance of him that can come only from parents who themselves know the love and acceptance of God in Christ Jesus.

By: Rob Plummer

Rob Plummer — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 13:56:32 +0000

In a class at a secular college, in a discussion of abortion, a female student in our class shared that she was a child resulting from a rape. She was able to say, “Look at me - I’m a person - not a tragedy. I’m so glad my mother chose not to abort me.” This background allowed her to speak with amazing experiential authority in the matter.

By: pat

pat — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 06:04:51 +0000

Amazing thank you for your Godly and gracious answer

By: Giancarlo

Giancarlo — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 19:15:32 +0000

Dr. Russell,

Great reflection on our shameful situation before being adopted by the Father through Christ.

As for the parents of this child, this would be a great opportunity to magnify the truth of adoption in the Gospel even when we were “children of wrath, like the rest of mankind,“ (Eph 2:3)

God bless you all.

By: Ronny

Ronny — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 16:46:06 +0000

First time I comment, but glory to God, by this answer. I am crying of joy. Thank you.

By: daniel

daniel — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 16:19:57 +0000

@Dave,

i too am wondering if the connections and comparisons made are the right ones, so thank you dave for your comment.

By: Jason

Jason — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 14:37:21 +0000

Not that my origins compare with the horrors of rape, nonetheless, my origins grieved me until I was close to 30 years old. Although my biological mother and step father did the best they could, I wrestled mightly and angrily to reconcile my self-identity with the story of my origins.

In fact, God taught me after many years that my identity has nothing to do with who I called “Dad”, but Him. God chose to bless me by removing me from the many abuses I could have been subjected to and providing me with a man that truly worked every day to live up to the Biblical role of “father”. God spared me from torments my mother endured for a time and provided me a loving environment many could have only dream of.

It very much mimics the love story God has for all of us. We are all born into situations that are less than ideal (sin). But God provides us a way to receive more than we ever could imagine… and for a time, we don’t really even understand it. But we will.

Ultimately, I believe God gave me this story so I can tell my own sons. I want my boys to know that God loved me so much He took a situation that was less than ideal, even ugly, and used it to bring even them into this world. God used me to end generations of physical and substance abuse. God used me to point to Him. My sons are continuing in that journey.

What more could I possibly ask for?

By: Katherine

Katherine — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 13:45:13 +0000

Wow.
No more words to say how God illumined you to share this biblically sound and discerned answer.
God bless you.

By: Don

Don — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 13:15:26 +0000

Very insightful, thanks.

One aspect is that there are births with a loving father and mother and then births, such as the birth of Jesus, where there is the potential for shame. It is important to teach that the potential for shame rightly rests on those that acted shamefully, NOT on the others. Mary was a very courageous to have Jesus, as the mother in this story was also; and I would make this mapping explicit to the son.

By: Dave

Dave — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 13:03:21 +0000

I’m not disagreeing with the point or conclusions, but i’m curious about the connection you are making between the child’s origin (rape) and “the circumstances of their backgrounds” that “God honestly speaks to his children about.” Since the child wasn’t sinning in his own conception, this doesn’t seem like the right comparison on which to base this decision. please correct my ignorance.

By: Chad

Chad — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 12:48:59 +0000

Thank you Dr. Moore. Our children were brought to us by God through horrible circumstances of drug abuse. Even at 3 we are already discussing that God had special plans for them in the circumstances of their births.

By: Wade Davis

Wade Davis — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 12:45:53 +0000

Dr. Moore,

This is a beautiful response and I love how you harmonized scripture to bring forth this edifying teaching. I’m afraid a lot of people today would treat this as “situational ethics” and try to take a pragmatic approach and advocate lying under the guise that it’s the most loving thing to do, etc. I love how you have illustrated that telling the truth is the most loving thing you can do and just because the details are difficult and wrought with pain and suffering it doesn’t negate our obligation to the truth.

May it all be for His glory,
W.

By: Should I Tell My Child He Was Conceived in Rape? – Justin Taylor

Should I Tell My Child He Was Conceived in Rape? – Justin Taylor — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 12:05:23 +0000

[...] Russell Moore’s response. [...]

By: » Should I Tell My Child He Was Conceived in Rape? | Denny Burk

» Should I Tell My Child He Was Conceived in Rape? | Denny Burk — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 11:30:57 +0000

[...] help but think that it might be helpful to some of you. Russell Moore answers the question, “Should I Tell My Child He Was Conceived in Rape?” His short answer is “yes,” but a short answer won’t do. You have to read [...]

By: Terry

Terry — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 10:39:32 +0000

Dr. Moore, you provided a great practical and theologically sound answer (as always). I always appreciate your writings. (I’m making my way through the sermons on your site and enjoying them, too.) Thanks for the good you are doing!