Comments on: I’m a Complementarian Man With an Egalitarian Wife; Can I Pastor? My Response http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/ By Russell D. Moore. Russell D. Moore serves as the teaching pastor at Highview Baptist Church in Louisville, Ky. In addition, Dr. Moore is the Dean of the School of Theology and Senior Vice President for Academic Administration at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. Find sermons and other resources to help Christians engage the culture from a biblical worldview at www.russellmoore.com. Tue, 22 May 2012 19:58:15 +0000 By: John Finochio http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-147473 John Finochio Tue, 12 Jul 2011 14:30:58 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-147473 I appreciate the sensitivity you have brought to this issue and the counsel you have given. Having been in pastoral ministry for many years I have found that the pressures and challenges are such that couples in ministry need to be in agreement philosophically concerning their roles. The counselling demands placed upon such a couple are very high and they need to be in sync. Although my wife and I have a complimentarian approach to our marriage we seek to be in agreement before making major decisions whether in the home or in ministry. I believe this has been a major key. My wife is submissive but she also has a brain, much life experience, a wonderful walk with the Lord and I would be foolish to discount or dismiss the value of her wisdom. I appreciate the sensitivity you have brought to this issue and the counsel you have given. Having been in pastoral ministry for many years I have found that the pressures and challenges are such that couples in ministry need to be in agreement philosophically concerning their roles. The counselling demands placed upon such a couple are very high and they need to be in sync. Although my wife and I have a complimentarian approach to our marriage we seek to be in agreement before making major decisions whether in the home or in ministry. I believe this has been a major key. My wife is submissive but she also has a brain, much life experience, a wonderful walk with the Lord and I would be foolish to discount or dismiss the value of her wisdom.

]]> By: Greg Demme http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-139145 Greg Demme Mon, 06 Jun 2011 14:18:54 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-139145 @Ryan Mahoney, it would be just as possible for God's response on judgment day to be: "I wish you would have been more insistent on what I clearly revealed in my Word." Your stance is just as "compulsive" as the stance of those you complain about. You insist that God won't care about something that other people insist He has already revealed He cares a great deal about. @Ryan Mahoney, it would be just as possible for God’s response on judgment day to be: “I wish you would have been more insistent on what I clearly revealed in my Word.” Your stance is just as “compulsive” as the stance of those you complain about. You insist that God won’t care about something that other people insist He has already revealed He cares a great deal about.

]]> By: laura grace http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-136921 laura grace Sat, 04 Jun 2011 01:52:17 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-136921 @Bryan Green, Are there people who would say no? Because seriously, if the "marital status" section of your philosophy of pastoral ministry excludes both Paul and Jesus, you need to rethink a few things, is all I'm sayin'. @Bryan Green, Are there people who would say no? Because seriously, if the “marital status” section of your philosophy of pastoral ministry excludes both Paul and Jesus, you need to rethink a few things, is all I’m sayin’.

]]> By: Joel H. Linton http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-136778 Joel H. Linton Fri, 03 Jun 2011 20:08:23 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-136778 1 Timothy 3:11 requires qualified wives to qualify their husbands for the office of elder or deacon (see http://www.taiwanchurch.org/linton/expa.html) If the wife is in error in her interpretation of Scripture, yet is able to submit to her husband in action, if she will refrain from teach the women (Titus 2) contrary to her husband's teaching, then that example of submission qualifies her husband to office. If she is not submissive to her husband, then according to 1 Timothy 3, her being unsubmissive calls to question her husband's qualification for office. This one I think depends on the exact details and attitudes of the case and therefore can only be handled on a case-by-case basis rather than a definite rule. 1 Timothy 3:11 requires qualified wives to qualify their husbands for the office of elder or deacon (see http://www.taiwanchurch.org/linton/expa.html)

If the wife is in error in her interpretation of Scripture, yet is able to submit to her husband in action, if she will refrain from teach the women (Titus 2) contrary to her husband’s teaching, then that example of submission qualifies her husband to office.

If she is not submissive to her husband, then according to 1 Timothy 3, her being unsubmissive calls to question her husband’s qualification for office.

This one I think depends on the exact details and attitudes of the case and therefore can only be handled on a case-by-case basis rather than a definite rule.

]]> By: Stephen D http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-135250 Stephen D Thu, 02 Jun 2011 05:01:43 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-135250 @T, Hey man, just prayed for you. This is the first time I've read this blog, and I saw this. You gotta pray more! Please! Ask God to change her heart; I know I just did. He can do anything. Keep the faith, bro. God has a plan even if it's not what you envisioned. @T, Hey man, just prayed for you. This is the first time I’ve read this blog, and I saw this. You gotta pray more! Please! Ask God to change her heart; I know I just did. He can do anything. Keep the faith, bro. God has a plan even if it’s not what you envisioned.

]]> By: Bryan Green http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-135158 Bryan Green Thu, 02 Jun 2011 02:59:37 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-135158 Great response to a timely question. Another one that may need to be addressed in the near future is "I'm single; can I pastor?" Great response to a timely question. Another one that may need to be addressed in the near future is “I’m single; can I pastor?”

]]> By: Dinah http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-135052 Dinah Thu, 02 Jun 2011 00:07:15 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-135052 When asked, surely your wife as any good Christian should, would tell the lady to search the scriptures for herself - because until she does so and understands what God is saying to her, she will never be content. This is scary .... this "holding the party line", this commitment to a cultural norm .... we must struggle to learn what God is actually saying, and to listen to each other in love, and allow each other to grow - not 'dumbing down' every argument with the "this is what you must believe" line. There is a core of Christian beliefs which divide Christian from non-Christian - this is not one of them! When asked, surely your wife as any good Christian should, would tell the lady to search the scriptures for herself - because until she does so and understands what God is saying to her, she will never be content.

This is scary …. this “holding the party line”, this commitment to a cultural norm …. we must struggle to learn what God is actually saying, and to listen to each other in love, and allow each other to grow - not ‘dumbing down’ every argument with the “this is what you must believe” line.

There is a core of Christian beliefs which divide Christian from non-Christian - this is not one of them!

]]> By: Dinah http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-135049 Dinah Wed, 01 Jun 2011 23:58:26 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-135049 @T, Now that is truly sad, and must be displeasing to the God who made you one flesh ..... Brothers and sisters in Christ - this is not a core issue!, but something on which we can agree to disagree .... Is your wife a Christian? .... then the rest is a matter for loving discussion (not argument!) ... if she is wrong then God will surely teach her this .... In the same way, if you are wrong then surely God will also teach you this. The devil is surely laughing at us majoring on minors when there are so many major issues out there eg... abortion - what an abomination and so few Christian voices @T,
Now that is truly sad, and must be displeasing to the God who made you one flesh …..

Brothers and sisters in Christ - this is not a core issue!, but something on which we can agree to disagree ….

Is your wife a Christian? …. then the rest is a matter for loving discussion (not argument!) … if she is wrong then God will surely teach her this ….
In the same way, if you are wrong then surely God will also teach you this.

The devil is surely laughing at us majoring on minors when there are so many major issues out there eg… abortion - what an abomination and so few Christian voices

]]> By: Sandra http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-134632 Sandra Wed, 01 Jun 2011 14:40:33 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-134632 As a pastor's wife, I appreciate how you handled this. It is because our ministry is so vital and visible that I feel my husband and I need to agree on such important issues. If he follows the advice "Don’t put your wife in the situation in which she must choose between loyalty to you and fidelity to what she believes," his marriage and ministry will be stronger. As a pastor’s wife, I appreciate how you handled this. It is because our ministry is so vital and visible that I feel my husband and I need to agree on such important issues.

If he follows the advice “Don’t put your wife in the situation in which she must choose between loyalty to you and fidelity to what she believes,” his marriage and ministry will be stronger.

]]> By: Danny Webster http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-134580 Danny Webster Wed, 01 Jun 2011 13:38:57 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-134580 Surely the alternative universe that needs to be contemplated is one where the wife holds egalitarian views and is called to ministry, but the husband holds complementarian views - should the wife in this position take a ministry position? Surely the alternative universe that needs to be contemplated is one where the wife holds egalitarian views and is called to ministry, but the husband holds complementarian views - should the wife in this position take a ministry position?

]]> By: T http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-134074 T Tue, 31 May 2011 22:20:07 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-134074 This has confirmed the thoughts I've had for some time due to my wife's increasingly divergent theological and cultural views...it's heartbreaking, but I know that I have to leave the ministry. Staying would only mean embarrassment and disaster - how can I model a legit Xian marriage when my wife and I have moved so far apart? We're not on the same page anymore, and I can't see her moving back to here we were when we were first married. I mean, our relationshipmis still strong, it's just the Jesus thing that is driving us apart. I feel like I've made such a major mistake, it's all ruined. Life, huh? This has confirmed the thoughts I’ve had for some time due to my wife’s increasingly divergent theological and cultural views…it’s heartbreaking, but I know that I have to leave the ministry. Staying would only mean embarrassment and disaster - how can I model a legit Xian marriage when my wife and I have moved so far apart? We’re not on the same page anymore, and I can’t see her moving back to here we were when we were first married. I mean, our relationshipmis still strong, it’s just the Jesus thing that is driving us apart. I feel like I’ve made such a major mistake, it’s all ruined.
Life, huh?

]]> By: Brian Maiers http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-134060 Brian Maiers Tue, 31 May 2011 21:43:16 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-134060 It is ironic that this point is argued by quoting an author that adamantly supports women pastors. In fact, his mother was one. It is ironic that this point is argued by quoting an author that adamantly supports women pastors. In fact, his mother was one.

]]> By: Ryan Mahoney http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-134057 Ryan Mahoney Tue, 31 May 2011 21:34:35 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-134057 I am sorry to strongly disagree with you in this matter. I understand the heart behind your reasons, but rather than sacrifice pastoral ministry over a difference in opinion/interpretation of what the Bible teaches why not openly demonstrate what generous, loving disagreement within the body of Christ ought to look like. Yes, the wife may counsel according to her understanding, and the husband will do the same. So what? Give the person seeking understanding the best of both arguments and say, "now you must prayerfully wrestle through these issues and reach a place of resolve." Why do we feel this compulsion to neatly divide into camps on stuff that just doesn't matter. Can you actually imagine God on judgement day saying to this husband and wife ministry team saying, "Well done good and faithful servants, but I really wish you could have been more insistent on drawing clearly boundary lines over women in ministry?" I suspect He and we won't even care about this issue then, so why get so hung up on it now? I am sorry to strongly disagree with you in this matter. I understand the heart behind your reasons, but rather than sacrifice pastoral ministry over a difference in opinion/interpretation of what the Bible teaches why not openly demonstrate what generous, loving disagreement within the body of Christ ought to look like.

Yes, the wife may counsel according to her understanding, and the husband will do the same. So what? Give the person seeking understanding the best of both arguments and say, “now you must prayerfully wrestle through these issues and reach a place of resolve.” Why do we feel this compulsion to neatly divide into camps on stuff that just doesn’t matter. Can you actually imagine God on judgement day saying to this husband and wife ministry team saying, “Well done good and faithful servants, but I really wish you could have been more insistent on drawing clearly boundary lines over women in ministry?” I suspect He and we won’t even care about this issue then, so why get so hung up on it now?

]]> By: Rob http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-134042 Rob Tue, 31 May 2011 21:11:53 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-134042 Maybe this would work if the wife in this scenario agreed to wear a head-covering, per I Cor. 11 (one of the LEAST-popular passages in the New Testament - yet its an imperative tied to the creation order, hence trans-cultural and I believe relevant for today. I'd love your take on that issue, Dr. Moore.) Maybe this would work if the wife in this scenario agreed to wear a head-covering, per I Cor. 11 (one of the LEAST-popular passages in the New Testament - yet its an imperative tied to the creation order, hence trans-cultural and I believe relevant for today. I’d love your take on that issue, Dr. Moore.)

]]> By: Joe Blackmon http://www.russellmoore.com/2011/05/31/i%e2%80%99m-a-complementarian-man-with-an-egalitarian-wife-can-i-pastor-my-response/#comment-133697 Joe Blackmon Tue, 31 May 2011 13:35:12 +0000 http://www.russellmoore.com/?p=6724#comment-133697 Thanking God after reading this that my wife recognizes what God has clearly taught in His word about gender roles. Thanking God after reading this that my wife recognizes what God has clearly taught in His word about gender roles.

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