Does Your Child’s Cell Phone Preach Another Gospel?
— Monday, February 9th, 2009 —
I’m afraid I’m not the most popular pastor with the ten to fourteen-year-old demographic in my church right now. I took on an issue, parenthetically, yesterday that caused frenzied looks and agape mouths. I dared to question the theology of text-messaging.
Rifling through some things the other day I found some church bulletins from my home congregation from the 1980s. All over the back of them I can see my teenage handwriting, interspersed with that of my youth group friends. There’s some tic-tac-toe there, and some plans being made for after-church Capture the Flag games, and so on.
I realized that the pre-teens and teenagers in my congregation won’t ever have such things, not because they’re too holy to ever pass a note in church, but because cell-phone technology has made it as easy, and as temporal, as a text-message.
Text-messaging is easy, and can easily break the boredom of a classroom or a family dinner, and it can put one in touch with people one’s parents never know one is “talking” to. That’s easily enough remedied by Christ-following parents, but I wonder if the cellphone isn’t being used as just one more opportunity to preach a misleading gospel to our kids.
The formation and discipline of children, after all, is built on the pattern of God’s fatherly discipline of his people (Heb 12:3-11), seen in his discipline of Israel (Deut 8:1-20) and, ultimately, in his discipleship of the incarnate Christ (Luke 2:20, John 5:19-20; Heb 2:10). Our discipline of our families is rooted, then, in the Fatherhood “from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named” (Eph 3:14).
I wonder, then, when it comes to cell phones, how many parents do precisely what our Father never does, and never will do. James tell us, “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one” (James 1:14). The Apostle Paul tells us that “God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Cor 10:13).
That’s why our God, through the Law of Moses, treats his people as a tightly-governed child “under guardians and managers until the date set by his father” (Gal 4:2). He carefully works us toward maturity, seeing that we’re faithful in small things before putting us over many things. That’s what a good and loving Father does.
A pre-teen or a teenager with unrestricted cell-phone usage (or Internet or television consumption) is being placed in a very, very difficult place of temptation. The company of that young man or woman is now away from the scrutiny of parents, and is now left only to his or her discretion or conscience. Are there some young Christians who can handle such? Of course. Should you assume your child is one of them? Your Father is more careful of you than that.
First of all, pre-teens and teenagers, simply, brace yourself, don’t need cellphones. I know you’re immediately responding with safety issues, etc. Nonetheless, for thousands of years pre-teens and teenagers have safely grown to adulthood without having communication devices in their pockets. Pre-teens and teenagers all over the world do it right now, and they survive.
Second, if your child does have a cellphone, this means you have a cellphone. Your responsibility is to know about every call, and the identity of every person text-messaging your son or daughter. You don’t have time to monitor this? Then you don’t have time for your child to have a cellphone.
This doesn’t mean you have to turn your house into an Inquisition hall. It simply means your child knows that you love him or her enough to check in frequently to see what’s going on in life. It also means that you communicate clearly that the child doesn’t have a personal cellphone, autonomous of your authority. It’s your cellphone, and your child is using it.
Communicating your love to your child means communicating your involvement. The gospel message is one of Fatherhood and sonship, of a Father who knows the hairs on our head (Luke 12:7), who fights for his children when they’re tested, tempted, or mistreated. Picture that kind of God to your children, even if they grumble and complain at first. So did we, and all those before us, when we were first delivered from our respective Pharaohs into a Father’s house.
45 Responses to “Does Your Child’s Cell Phone Preach Another Gospel?”
Trackbacks
- Teenage Cell Phones? « Lawn Gospel
- ‘A pre-teen or a teenager with unrestricted cell-phone usage is being placed in a very, very difficult place of temptation’ | The Daily Scroll
- Does Your Child’s Cellphone Preach Another Gospel - by Russell Moore « Ramblin’ Pastor Man
- Facebook Frivolity and Cell Phone Preaching «
- The last text message « The Wanderer
- Does Your Child’s Cell Phone Preach Another Gospel? | Outer Rim Territories
- Neumatikos » Yesterday’s
- Your Kids Don’t Need A Cellphone « To the saints at Concord…
- Can Text-Messaging Numb Your Affections For God? « Promise & Pleasure
- Do you still love technology? « The Sweet Dropper
- Teens on-line and on their cellphones « Strengthened by Grace
- Teenagers :: Cell Phones « Reforming Students
- Cell Phones and Teens | Berean Wife
- Should My Child be on Facebook? « Elect Exiles
- Shepherd’s Notes » Do Cell Phones Teach Children Another Gospel
I mentioned this in a sermon two weeks ago and had a lengthy conversation about text messaging with a parent in my congregation. They check all in coming and outgoing messages when ever they want. The daughter knows that, understands that, and it provides much needed oversight. I appreciate a parent that takes their responsibility seriously. I also appreciate a pastor who tells it like it is. Thanks Dr. Moore.
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Dr. Moore, you always have a way of making me want to be the best parent I can possibly be, even though it means being radically different than most people around me. Thank you for showing so clearly the relevance of biblical theology for parenting. Texting is about the gospel, and I hope I can be faithful enough to show my children exactly how that is.
Ben Eidson
Valdosta, GA
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Russell,
To your article I say, “Amen!” I agree that teens should only have access to cell phones and the internet with consistent oversight by their parents. Mom and Dad should outline what they (cell phone/internet) are to be used for and then clarify to the student that “privilege” will be removed if the rules are compromised. The parents should point out that just as it would be irresponsible to leave the doors unlocked and the windows open at night, it would be irresponsible for them to allow their child unlimited and unmonitored interaction with others on these devices. The dangers are well-documented.
Thanks for your stand. I know you may be taking some heat, but hang in there.
God Bless,
Dave Wenger
Worship Pastor - Hallmark Baptist Church
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Thank you Dr. Moore for again showing us how the gospel permeates every portion of our lives and is integral in the raising of children and in the giving of cell phones.
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I am a high school principal and see the misuse of cell phones, and in particular, text messaging among teen agers today. I work in a Christian school and am blessed by being able to set down very definite guidelines and rules concerning cell phone use at school. Still, at times I am totally blown out of the water at the things kids will say in a text message…even kids in a Christian school. I believe for the most part, parents have no idea at the conversations their kids engage in while text messaging. Parents more than ever need to guard their children and particularly while on the cell phone. We cannot be too careful with our children.
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I work in business and have heard 3 different conversations in the past week among co-workers describing how their Jr. High and High School students text message incessantly, whether in class, at the doctor’s office or at dinner. In the same conversation, you can almost taste the parent’s weariness & desperation in their voices as they understand they have lost control and direction for their children. Yet, it is ’small’ opportunities like this that are open doors to share the Gospel with frustrated and weary unbelieving parents desperate for life change but not knowing where to find true hope.
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Great blog issue! To try to communicate to our pre-teens, and teens that kids all over the world grow up just fine without shopping malls and cell phones, and ipods is like talking to a cinder-block wall. They look at you like your are nuts! Thanks for opening that issue up, and as a parent who has already gone through cell mania with his daughter, I hope it helps others who are just getting into it.
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We have two daughters - 18 and 13 - and they both have cell phones. I disagree with making a blanket statement out the need (or non-need) for cell phones. I suppose that’s your opinion, but to me that’s the choice of each family. For what they mainly use it for - to stay in touch with us - we’d say our kids do need a cell phone, babysitting, driving home w/ an old car, etc.
I also think that if you want to monitor or feel the need to monitor every last little call / text, your house will be an inquisition hall and your kids will feel it.
Its easy to say “no cell phones,” “no cable tv”, etc, etc; its much harder to learn to measure out responsibility to your children as you the parent see fit.
For those interested T-mobile has worked really hard to help parents maintain control - you can block numbers and even limit time and no. of texts, all with little or no extra monthly cost.
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It does no good to check your kids’ text message logs on their cellphone unless you’re convinced that they are too stupid to know how to delete selected entries in the incoming and outgoing message logs. It’s a trivial thing to do.
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Could you clarify for me… are you saying it is wrong for a teenager to have a cell phone without direct and complete parental oversight?
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THANK YOU! And I don’t think anybody has mentioned PICTURES! “Mistakes” today can be so much bigger than when we were kids. A young person can make a bad judgment call with a text or picture, and when that relationship goes sour, that picture is all over the internet.
I would caution parents, however, with relying on checking ingoing/outgoing texts. It’s very easy to delete things they don’t want parents to see.
Another problem is that, with everyone else owning cell phones, we do pretty much NEED them. I forgot mine the other day and you wouldn’t believe how long it took me to find a pay phone. Times have changed.
The best solution I have come up with is for me to own extra phones, and give them to the kids when I want them to have them. They don’t need to keep them all of the time. This way they do have access to a phone, but they don’t give out that number to everybody and constantly text friends. Checking up on your kids’ texts and things really can have a negative feel to them - that they’re not trusted and stuff. So keeping the phone does away with that, also.
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I think we should take away their playing cards and forbid them from dancing too… these young whipper-snappers and their new-fangled ways… doing the twist and heaven forbid what else!
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Dr. Moore,
Thank you for taking this courageous and wise stand, and for encouraging parents to be thoughtful in their parenting rather than blindly follow our culture. Please continue to encourage parents to think biblically.
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I really like Anne’s response to this article. Keeping extra phones and only letting them “borrow” them from you when necessary is a great idea! Plus you don’t have to have texts/pics/videos as a feature on the phone if you don’t want to.
This is a much better way of communicating that it really is your phone. Giving a cell phone to a child/teenager for their exclusive use and telling them it’s not really theirs doesn’t work too well.
There are a lot of elementary students that are more computer savvy than a lot of adults so they will figure out the “delete” function w/o any problem.
Adults in the business world are given work cell phones and they use them for personal use all the time. example: former mayor kwami kilpatrick of detroit, mi. So why would you expect a child or teenager to do any better?
We got rid of our landline (home phone) because my husband and I have cell phones. We spent $50+/month for the landline and the only calls we got were telemarketers. Why pay all that money to be annoyed?
My husband and I’s family are all over the US. Because we all have the same cell phone company we can all talk for as long as we want for free outside the monthly charge. It would cost us a bundle otherwise. Because of cell phones and Facebook, our whole family keeps in touch better and is alot closer as whole. Cutting out technology really isn’t the answer especially in this day and age. Most extended family no longer lives in the same town, pay phones aren’t at every corner and hanging out on the corner to use the random pay phone probably isn’t all that safe anyhow
More and more people I know are getting rid of their land lines and only have cell phones. So that would limit giving out your number to only those that really need it. What teenager wants to call a friend’s parents unless they have to!
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Well, I didn’t get an answer, but the rush of commendations on this post is alarming to me. Since Scripture has nothing to say about this issue, it would be wrong to say that it is wrong to let your kids have cell phones.
The biblical principles you bring out are good, but surely there are ways to apply them without moving into isolationist mode or adding commands to Scripture.
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I thank you Dr. Moore for speaking on this issue. I wouldn’t say don’t allow them phones but monitor the usage. I agree if you don’t have time to check what is going on then the kids do not need a phone. Firefly Mobile is a good option if you want your young ones to have a phone. The parents can do monitoring but the kids can have a nice device.
Thank you for preaching the word and caring about our youth!
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Nonetheless, for thousands of years pre-teens and teenagers have safely grown to adulthood without having communication devices in their pockets.
Can I get a witness in the congregation?? Simply because we have the stuff available does not mean we have to use it. Excellent points.
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I think parents who defend their child’s cell phone use are naive. Can’t say it any plainer than that.
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I think you have missed the point. All things can be used for God’s glory. The point of your message should be about Christian parents raising there children according to God’s word. Cell phones are not the enemy. Just the other day, I had a “teenager” that was witnessing in their “public” school and used their cellphone to text and ask me a question without the person even noticing. I was able to give them the verse they needed.
You mentioned your bulletin as a youth having your markings all over the back. Does that mean you were not watching or paying attention to the message? Should we take bulletins away? To me, you bring to light the problem in your own testimony, and it is not cellphones. It is the individual. It is their respect to God and the world around them. Technology is changing everyday. I think we are trying to fight that too much and forgeting that we need to be focusing more on the lost and dying world around us.
I get so aggravated when I here people mention that we did not used to have this or that in our lives, and we made it just fine. As they are making that statement, they are using the computer and internet they did not once have to make it.
As a youth pastor, I promise you that cell phones are not the issue at hand.
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As the father of two pre-teen boys (both 11 soon to be 12) we decided as a family to give cell phones this last Christmas. But before we the parents bought the cell phones, we purposefully prayed and researched every parental control available. We did not want to put them into a tempting situation that we could not control. Strict guidelines were put into place. Who to call, who can call, etc. We also opted NOT to include text messaging on the phone plans. There were two reasons. First was the cost. We are on a tight budget. Second was the distracting temptation not to communicate with Mom and Dad.
I personally monitor the number of phone calls through our service provider’s website. It is very easy.
Ironically, I have found that I can talk to my two boys more often now than before. My busy work schedule has taken away my ability to tuck my two boys into bed at night. So now I call just before they go to bed just to let them know I love them.
It is sad that in this season I am forced to work nights. But as a father I am grateful for the opportunity to communicate with my two boys even though I am not at home. We look forward to the day (soon) when I as the father am home at night again. But in the meantime, we are using cell phones to help us rather than allowing the cell phones to control our children.
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We are our children’s guardians, advocates and protectors so our family policy has been you may have these things; cell phones, internet access, social websites etc but as your parent I have the right at anytime to view your phone usage, texts, facebook, myspace etc therefore you must give me the passwords. I do not necessarily check every day but on occasion and definitely if I sense a problem or if there has been a behavior issue. It has been an opportunity to discuss how our behavior should be compared to the world. My teens also know that they will be held accountable for anything I see on facebook and myspace and at least once the pictures posted on another teens myspace got my child in trouble for being somewhere he wasn’t supposed to be. These things are a priviledge in my house not a right and they also must pay their portion of the bill for the cell phones.
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It is interesting to hear parents declare the need of cell phones. When cell phones did not exist, we did these things: baby sit, drive old worn out cars, went on dates, paid attention in school, were secure, did not need to be in contact with parents, engaged our minds,etc, etc.
This society has fool most parents into believing that our children have to have these tools of communication. Culturally driven is a deep hole that once you are in it, you become blind to how you lived any other way !!
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I have to agree with post 30, YP Phillip. It is obvious God gave us rules but not outside of his love and knowledge of us. I have seen within several families that a rules focused approach will simply replace the sin of indulgence with the sin of contempt. Does that move our children any closer to God? While we are forced to live within the context of our culture love for, knowledge of and investment in our children should be what we are talking about. Guarding them from the temptations cell phones create will come naturally within those pursuits. Cell phone abuse is a symptom of an issue not the issue.
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I am a step parent to a 14 yr old girl and a professional youth pastor. I could not agree more with Philip and Chris. Resisting technology only leads to isolation. I currently live in the middle of nowhere and would be L-O-S-T without facebook and my cell phone. Texting software has been made available to youth pastors to keep kids informed about meetings, etc. These are valuable tools.
My stepdaughter has announced that all she wants from us for her birthday is texting ability on her phone. The phone line was added because we live two hours from the children and only see them twice a month. This way we get to talk to them whenever we want and are not dependent on their mother’s schedule to talk to them.
There have been many issues, but as was mentioned the cell phone itself has not been the issue, teaching responsibility can never be replaced and can only be done by parents.
Also, who are we to say it’s wrong when also as mentioned we use the same technology.
I was against texting for a long time, but have since discovered the many benefits.
Now, we are only giving her 250 texts a month, with the idea that she needs to prove she can be responsible, know when to stop, only text when necessary, only text in appropriate areas, times, etc.
Just because a parent would allow their children to text, have cell phones, does not mean they have automatically abdicated their parenting responsibility. Everything in moderation!
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It’s all about knowing, respecting, loving & discipling your kid since young. And txt msg & internet are just some of the things teenagers face. We still have the age old problem of sex, peer pressure, drugs, tv/movie influence. If the good relationship is being build with your kids from young, anything can be discuss & resolved.
But if there are no good relationship (trust & respect) between you & your kid, by the time he is a teenager, there are just so many things that can draw your kids away.
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I am a father and it is up to me and my wife for the example to be set in our home. We are to set the how, when , where and the whys of what we do in life according to God’s word. Therefore, the example of cellphone and TV usage should be set by the parents. But what does it say for the parent who has unrestricted cellphone use? When a parent is texting on the phone during a play that their own children are participating? What message and example of scripture does this set for the children?
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Moore is fighting a war that has already been won ny teens. I wish him and his kind well; however, I’m amazed at how out of touch his message is to young people. Technology is part of a child’s life now–good luck in trying to end that. In ten years his post will even be funnier than it is now.
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Steve, With this kind of dismissive attitude about even questioning whether or not you play a role in the formation of your children, you are quite right: your children have won. In ten years, your comment on this post will, I fear, not seem funny to you at all.
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Dr. Moore,
Thanks for speaking to this issue. I really appreciate your insight.
TTFN LOL
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I disagree that parents should monitor their childrens text and calls. Unless they have told their child, and their child is okay with that. I think it’s better to have an upfront and honest relationship, instead of worrying about monitoring yout child. Why not build up a relationship to where you can trust your kids, and not have to monitor them behind their backs.
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