Should I Get a Christian Tattoo (Even If My Parents Don’t Like It)? My Response

— Monday, January 25th, 2010 —
Questions and Ethics

Dear Dr. Moore,

I want to get a tattoo. I’d like it on my stomach, with a cross, with the words, “Flee Immorality: You Were Bought with a Price.” I’d like this as a measure of accountability for myself as the years go by, in case the zeal I have for the gospel ever wanes and I’m ever in a place of temptation this will be an ever-present reminder of what I know to be true.

I am really convicted that this is what the Lord would have me to do. Here’s my problem.

I am 19 years old and a college student. I live at home with my parents. I work and pay for my own school, but I live with them. I love my parents and truly believe I honor them, but where does “honor your father and mother” end? I really believe this is an issue of obedience in doing what the Lord seems to be directing me to do.

You probably agree with my parents that I shouldn’t get the tattoo and I can respect that. I’ve thought it all through. My question isn’t whether I should get the tattoo; it’s whether I’d be sinning against God and my parents if I did it.

If I am under their authority right now, when does that end? When I’m 21? When I’m out of the house? Or does it ever end, when it comes to making decisions like this?

Sincerely,

Bought with a Price

Dear Bought,

First of all, I hope my sons grow up to be like you, in all sorts of ways seen in this question. Your letter evidences a lot of commendable qualities: a desire to identify yourself radically with Christ, the recognition that you must protect yourself from your own potential future rebellion, concern for honoring your father and mother.

The command to honor father and mother never ends. It is part of the holy will of God, and is applicable to every person, regardless of age. When you’re ninety, you’ll still have an obligation to honor your parents, even if only in memory and in speech. The way one honors one’s parents changes, though, throughout the span of life. Jesus lived this life before you. His honoring of his father Joseph and his blessed mother Mary was of obedience in all things in childhood (Lk. 2:51), of listening to pleas for help in adulthood (Jn. 2:1-5), and of caring for weakness at the end of life (Jn. 19:26-27). All of this was an honoring of father and mother.

What you’re asking is less about Exodus 20 than about Ephesians 6. When does your obedience to parents end or, better put, when are you responsible for making your own decisions?

It isn’t at eighteen. The Bible never puts eighteen or twenty-one as some arbitrary mark between childhood and maturity. Instead, in Scripture, maturity is less a chronological or biological matter than an economic one. When are you able to establish a household, a household for which you are responsible? The creation pattern is that a man is equipped to provide for his household (Gen. 2:15). He then “leaves father and mother” as he cleaves to his wife and forms (within the larger tribe) a new household (Gen. 2:24).

Between childhood and maturity, your parents are working to prepare you for this responsibility, handing over more and more of it to you as you prepare to give yourself over for the provision and protection of a wife and family (Eph. 5) or for the sake of the mission (1 Cor. 7).

In Scripture, submission of any kind has limits. If your parents demanded you to sin against God, you couldn’t do it. But that’s not what they’ve done.

It seems to me, though, that this is less about obedience than about listening to wisdom. And I think your parents are right.

I’m not making an anti-tattoo statement here. Whether tattoos are permissible for followers of Jesus is debatable, but really extraneous to this discussion. Your parents understand, I’m sure, your zeal. They’re also though able to imagine a fuller arc of life than you can right now. They know there are a lot of things one can decide at eighteen that one would see differently at a later time.

A tattoo is (apart from expensive, extensive work) a permanent decision, a permanent decision made by a very young man that his older self, his wife, his children, and everyone in his life will, in some way, have to live with.

It may be that getting this tattoo is precisely what you ought to do. If so, then work toward being on your own, cultivating the maturity and the wisdom to hear outside counsel and to think this through with the mind of Christ. In the meantime, though, be a sign of the gospel by submitting to your parents even in something in which you think they’re short-sighted. Submission, after all, isn’t to things one readily sees as good ideas; that’s called “agreement.” Submission is often in matters in which one thinks one knows better. God will bless that.

One more thing: a tattoo won’t stop you from wrecking your life, no matter what it says. The rebellious heart gets what it wants, and will do what it takes to get there. An immoral man can easily scoff at the tattoo, or even blaspheme as a result of it in the throes of his rebellion. Instead of working to embed the gospel on your skin, embed it on your conscience. Cultivate repentance, confession, and seeking the life of Christ. The answer for you isn’t your own skin ink but Someone Else’s nail scars.

45 Responses to “Should I Get a Christian Tattoo (Even If My Parents Don’t Like It)? My Response”

  1. James Reardon

    I agree. I particularly like this quote, “be a sign of the gospel by submitting to your parents.” I was 20 and on my own, and I thought, “Hey, I have my own place. I’m grounded in the Word. But what if? What if my passion weakens later in life?” So I had thought about getting the Passion logo on my back shoulder, to always remind me of the call to proclaim God’s fame. I didn’t get the tattoo. And I’m glad I didn’t. I agree with your assessment of the rebellious heart; ink won’t change a heart.

    Reply

  2. Leon Cunningham

    Can he cite chapter and verse where the Lord seems to be directing him to get this tattoo?

    Reply

    Bobby Harnist in reply

    @Leon Cunningham,
    I’m sorry, I don’t care for this response. It’s like saying, “cite chapter and verse where the Lord seems to be directing you… to marry… to work at this job… to be a missionary here… to go to this church…”
    I’m not trying to be down on you Leon, but that’s not a great question.
    What is great is that this young man IS looking for God’s will by seeking wise council because there IS no chapter and verse that says to get (or not to get) a tattoo.

    Bobby

  3. David Bissett

    Well said — thanks for the content, and the model, of your reply. Most helpful. (In fact, I’ll be sharing it on my blog shortly).

    Yours by divine mercy,
    david

    Reply

  4. Gabriel Powell

    I agree with Leon.

    Dr. Moore’s response is great–gentle, encouraging, and biblical. The only thing left that needs to be addressed is the issue of this being a God-directed desire.

    Passion and desire do not equal God’s will. I’ve wanted a lot of things in my life that I thought were God’s will… in the end they were just my own personal desires. We should not categorize desires as God’s will unless we have biblical precedent (or past providence) to do so.

    In this situation, God’s will is to honor your parents.

    Reply

  5. Phil Kloster

    I agree completely with Dr. Moore on every point…well said! However, I am making an anti-tatto statement. Another consideration here might be the intentional defacing of the human body - a body made in the image of God. Just like piercing, cutting, mutilating the body, I believe tattooing is another method the evil one uses to destroy or deface what God has created.

    Reply

    Bobby Harnist in reply

    @Phil Kloster,
    I suppose that in Rev. 19:16 Jesus only used a sharpie on his thigh.

    Natasha in reply

    @Phil Kloster,

    I’d definitely have to disagree with you regarding the definition of tattooing and piercing as “defacing the human body”. Sure, it is possible for someone to actually damage or mutilate their body using these methods- but not all tattoos or piercings do. (and I could argue that from a ‘repelling people away from Christianity’ perspective, many Christian guys’ tendency to not bathe often enough and to wear grubby dirty clothing has done more harm than tattoos.. but that’s another topic)

    In my own family, my Mom, my sisters, and I all have multiple ear piercings and my Mom & one sister have nose studs. My other sister has a small tattoo in Hebrew on her foot that reads “Set apart”. Our jewelry and ink are tasteful and not overbearing and couldn’t be described by any reasonable person as “defacing”. In fact you probably wouldn’t even notice it because we don’t wear big tacky blatant jewelry.

    Remember that God created us in His image- as co-creators. We have freedom to build and change and affect the physical world- including our own bodies- and this isn’t a negative thing. It is one way that we display the character of God to the world. Just like cutting blocks of marble to make architecture changes the physical world (but creates beauty), so body art in many forms can create beauty.

    P.S. Good one Bobby Harnist! And don’t forget Isaiah 49:16 “See I have engraved you on the palms of My hands…” (Sounds pretty permanent, doesn’t it) ;)

    In regards to the original story, I would agree that he should carefully consider the wisdom of getting that tattoo. There are good reasons not to, aside from the fact that it could negatively affect his relationship with his parents & that it wouldn’t (as other people have already said) really prevent him from sinning.
    From an aesthetic standpoint a stomach tattoo isn’t really a great idea. Stomachs grow or shrink or change shape “a lot” and the nice tattoo he had to begin with would not end up very nice looking. Actually it reminds me of a funny story I read in Reader’s Digest… This lady was pregnant and went in for a checkup. The doctor looks at her stomach and says, “Oh nice whale tattoo”. She replies, “It ‘was’ a dolphin”. :)

  6. CT

    But, as Jesus said: “Better to enter heaven all inked up than to have your blemish-free body cast into the fires of hell.”

    And, as Paul says, “It is good for a man not to tattoo scriptures on his belly. But, since there is so much immorality, each man should tattoo little Christian reminders on himself.”

    Reply

    Andy in reply

    @CT, LOVE IT!!!

  7. Matt Jacobs

    I have about 5 tattoos that I got when I was young - one when I was a believer. The one that I got when I was a believer says “Jesus saves” in the Irish language. I thought, “what a great idea - people will see it, ask me what it says, and it will give me a chance to share the gospel.” In the 15 years I’ve had it, about 3 people have asked me about it.

    When I got them in my mid-20’s, everyone who told me I would hate them later in life was stupid. They were also right. I hate them. If I could get them removed for free, I’d do it, but I’m not going to be a worse steward of the Lord’s blessings to me by spending money to have them removed.

    I agree with Dr. Moore completely, I just wanted to throw out a secular anecdotal response.

    Reply

  8. Dylan

    I don’t think it’s so much about your outside appearance. We have to remember what Christ said when He was speaking to the Pharisees who were washing their hands before eating a meal. This was a ceremonial Jewish duty. Jesus says that its not what a man puts in that is sinful but what comes out that is either good or bad. What you say, how you act and live. That is what is important. I may just be a more “liberal” Christian here but it really bugs me when people are so concerned about such petty things like earrings and tattoos. I have two tattoos myself. One is in hebrew and the other is a bible verse that is important to me. In all reality, I’ve been to numerous countries doing mission work and was able to use my tattoos as a ministry tool.

    Let us not forget the what is truly important: the heart, not what you look like. By heart I mean, if your heart is truly right with the Lord. And lets be honest here, the Bible did does not say much about tattoos, and yes in the old testament it is mentioned, but so is not eating pork. All of those verses must be taken inside of their own contexts and the audience to whom it was written.

    I seriously doubt that you are sinning by getting tattoos. I did really like how the author wrote this piece. I thought it was well balanced and very biblical. However, it is not so much about getting tattoos than it is honoring your mother and father. My parents actually encouraged me to do get a tattoo. They also said that if I ended up hating it that it would be my problem to deal with. Its been almost 4 years and I still love them as much as the day I got them.

    Make no mistake, getting tattoos is not a sin, it is merely an opinion that is used by old fashioned people and people who personally don’t agree with it to make you think you are sinning against God. There are much much more worse things to be worrying about than tattoos…trust me.

    Reply

    Chris in reply

    I actually have no tattoos or piercings and was a part of the last half generation that paved the way for tats and scarring and piercings as mainstream. I still look a bit rock and roll and never the less have never gotten a tat. People assumed I had them and were later surprised that I didn’t. So when I explained that I didn’t for the reasons already mentioned by Dr. Moore

    (ie. that the inside is what matters and it won’t stop me in the throws of rebellion only the conviction of the Holy Spirit, the Word of God and The thankfulness and contentment of New Life will keep you from sin,)

    people are interested to hear more. To which I almost immediately share the Gospel. My non tatted body and un-pierced lip/eyebrow have been more beneficial for the Kingdom then any trite and played out “Christian Tattoo” because the world is in no shortage of Jesus murals and vague hard to read scripture (because its on my body) with no context. plus it just builds pride in the flesh and a need to show it off.

    Dylan in reply

    @Dylan,

    So basically in “conclusion” it is more a matter of opinion than it is biblical truth on whether it is right or wrong to get a tattoo or not. You can’t seriously go through the Bible and exegetically point to scripture that describes piercings and tattoos as sinful. Bottom line: It is a matter of opinion, not biblical truth. A tattoo might as well be the same as the type of clothes you wear. In my opinion there is no difference.

    In reply to your comment, “My non tatted body and un-pierced lip/eyebrow have been more beneficial for the Kingdom then any trite and played out “Christian Tattoo” because the world is in no shortage of Jesus murals and vague hard to read scripture (because its on my body) with no context. plus it just builds pride in the flesh and a need to show it off.” How can you say that? How do you know for sure? There’s no way of measuring if my tattoos or your non tattoos make more of a difference for the kingdom or not. You should really know the line between biblical mandate and personal opinion. Which is what tattoos and piercings are. I love Jesus, I have tattoos that mean something personal to me, and I’m proud of it!

  9. God's student

    I got a tattoo when I was about 22 - not thinking about what I was doing (and I don’t mean in terms of the “physical”, but the spiritual). The tattoo I selected was my starsign - I thought it was ok, it wasn’t a fashionable thing that would go out of fashion - I would always be a “Leo”. That was long before I gave my heart to Jesus.
    Now, at the age of 31, I wish with all my heart that I could change/remove this pictoral connection to satan from my body.

    I live with this scar of satan on my body every day, it is a reminder of how close I came to not finding Jesus.
    Maybe one day I’ll find a Christian Tattoo Artist that can change it into a symbol of eternal life, instead of a symbol of the Lake of fire.

    Reply

  10. Niles

    I got a tattoo when I was 20 (currently 27), or there abouts. I was still in college, but didn’t live at home. It was something that I wanted to do, I wouldn’t say that God was directing me to get it. But I wanted to get it for many of the same reasons mentioned above. One that wasn’t was that I like the way they looked, if done well. Hey, let’s be honest.

    With that said, I presented the idea to my parents and my future wife (we weren’t even engaged at that point). I resolved to not get it unless my parents and future wife were ok with it. They were, and I got it. If they were not, then I wouldn’t have gotten it. Bottom line, I love my parents and wife more than tattoos, and if I went against that I’m afraid my actions would say something different.

    Just my .02,

    Niles

    Reply

  11. Paul C

    Great response to this question. I appreciate the spirit in which it was answered and the fact that you covered all the ground, ending on the most important note: the heart is where we need God’s word imprinted, not our body.

    Reply

  12. brent carpenter

    To phil k. What about all these fat preachers who use that verse to preach agaisnt tattos. What about them destroying themselves because they can’t put the fork down.. Must - go on to the dress of a lot of christian women and what the new testement says about all their make up and gold hanging from there ears. This issue is simply about what is exceptable in the organized religion. Not what is scripturalm

    Reply

    Mike in reply

    @brent carpenter,
    Just because the pastors have a gluttony problem does not excuse us from doing what is right. We are not to compare our selves to others but to Christ. Getting a tattoo may be a sin but it is not an unforgivable one. What are the motives for getting a tattoo, do you have a voice that could do the same thing that a tattoo would do, or is it just another piece of Jesus bling?

    Dylan in reply

    @brent carpenter, This response is to Mike.

    I believe tattooing falls into the category of “disputable matters” where the Bible is not clear. But wait a minute, you might be thinking. The Bible says in Leviticus 19:28, “Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the Lord.” (NLT) How much clearer can that be?

    It’s important, however, to look at the verse in context. This passage in Leviticus, including the surrounding text, is specifically dealing with the pagan religious rituals of the people living around the Israelites. God’s desire is to set his people apart from other cultures. The focus here is prohibiting worldly, heathen worship and witchcraft. God forbids his holy people to engage in idolatrous, pagan worship and sorcery which imitates the heathens. He does this out of protection, because he knows this will lead them away from the one true God.

    It’s interesting to observe verse 26, “Do not eat meat that has not been drained of its blood,” and verse 27, “Do not trim off the hair on your temples or trim your beards.” Well, certainly many Christians today eat non-kosher meats and get haircuts without participating in the forbidden worship of pagans. Back then these customs were associated with pagan rites and rituals. Today they are not.

    So, the important question remains, is getting a tattoo a form of pagan, worldly worship still forbidden by God today? My answer is, this matter is disputable, and should be treated as a Romans 14 issue.

    If you are considering the question, “To tattoo or not to?” I think the more serious questions to ask yourself are: What are my motives for wanting a tattoo? Am I seeking to glorify God or draw attention to myself? Will my tattoo be a source of contention for my loved ones? Will getting a tattoo cause me to disobey my parents? Will my tattoo cause someone who is weak in the faith to stumble?

    Ultimately, the decision is between you and God. Though it may not be a black and white issue, there is a right choice for each individual.

    I have yet to see any scriptural basis for these legalistic people saying tattooing and piercing is wrong. Come on people! Quit shoving your opinions on those with tattoos and piercings and give us some contextual exegetical scriptures to back it up! Pathetic.

  13. Mike

    This is a great response because it directly addresses the question that was asked without digressing on further with a more complex issue of Tattoos.

    I do have a tattoo on my right shoulder, it is a black and white portrait of a crying Christ. I decided to get it because at the time I was unsure if I would deny Christ. I was in the middle of going through the worst spiritual depression that I had ever experienced. So I decided to get a tattoo of Christ so that if I denied Him with my lips that I could not deny Him with my body. I know that this sounds stupid and if you have never felt such a hole in your soul that “eat, drink, and be merry because I hope that I die” sounds good it will sound totally ridiculous and foreign. In a way it portrayed how I new Christ felt about my life at the time and how much I wanted to do his will. I grew up conservative SDA, legalistic. Coming out of that I felt so empty and utterly worthless. I would pray to God to kill me if he had no need for me instead of letting me go on wandering. I loved Jesus, but I didn’t know what Christianity was. That is why I got my tattoo.

    Praise be to God that I am now a Christian Hedonist, desiring to glorify God in all that I do.

    Reply

  14. Tracy

    Great, gentle and thorough response. I have 2 daughters(12 and 8) and a son 6. I threw that question around a work the other day about how to respond if my kids approach my wife and I with that desire to have a tattoo.
    I hope to be able to find Dr. Moore’s reply and several of the other blogs in the archives for future reference if we are faced with this issue.

    Reply

  15. bondChristian

    Reminds me of what Paul says about being all things to all people. I see getting a tattoo as something self-oriented where not getting a tattoo is others-oriented. I think when that decision comes up, I think the answer is always others-orientedness.

    -Marshall Jones Jr.

    Reply

  16. Carole Ann

    As far as getting a tattoo is considered, he should certainly honor and respect his parents’ wishes if they do not want him to have one. Submission is tough, even if you don’t agree or think you know better.

    Secondly, he should keep in mind 1 Corinthians 10:23, which states “Everything is permissible”–but not everything is beneficial” (NIV). Whether or not tattooing is something God finds acceptable to do to oneself, you must also look at the big picture and consider how your parents, siblings, family, peers, and possible future wife and kids would feel about you having it. And how you yourself, 30 or 40 years from now, would feel about having it. And especially others who don’t know you, who would look to you as an example of the Christian community at large.

    Reply

  17. JamesBrett

    A very good argument can be made that one should think long and hard before putting something as lasting as a tattoo on his body. That is wisdom, pure and simple. There aren’t many decisions made by individuals in our culture that are as permanent as a tattoo — career and marriage included. If we can’t be faithful to remain in a marriage relationship, what makes us think we’ll be happy with a cartoon character or a chinese word (we can’t even read) on our back?

    I think an individual should confer with their parents or spouse before making a decision to get a tattoo, and of course I don’t think anyone should ever put a demonic mark on his body.

    But I think the arguments against tattoos end there. Not that I want to offend other Christians, but allowing their current stance within tradition and culture to regulate my freedoms in personal issues is, in my mind, a mistake. Those very same brothers and sisters in my church might have no problem with me dropping $50,000 on a really nice vehicle, or being just a little underhanded in my business dealings, or slandering a political figure or party. Am I willing to conform to their desires and traditions on these issues?

    I’m not saying we shouldn’t care what others think, or that because they’re wrong on some issues, we shouldn’t mind offending them on others. But I am suggesting we should think about WHY people are being offended, and take that into account when we make decisions (especially largely personal ones).

    Brett, tattoo-wearer since 1997.

    Reply

  18. Frannie

    Totally saving this for future reference!

    Reply

Trackbacks

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