Should a Christian Photographer Work at a Same-Sex Wedding Ceremony?
— Tuesday, December 11th, 2012 —
Dear Dr. Moore,
I am an evangelical Christian, and I work as a wedding photographer. By conscience, I hold to an orthodox view of human sexuality, with all that entails. I’ve been asked to photograph a same-sex wedding service (legal in my state), and I’ve said no. I wonder if I did the right thing.
After all, this is a business, providing a service. Would it be right for me to refuse to serve a gay couple if I owned a restaurant? I don’t think so. If a same-sex marriage isn’t a marriage at all (as the historic Christian view teaches), then how is this different from just photographing people at a birthday party or community festival (in which case it wouldn’t matter what’s happening with them sexually).
Moreover, I’m not sure that photographing an event is an endorsement of that event. I have photographed weddings of people who were divorced (and I didn’t investigate the background), people who were probably cohabiting, people who were most likely unequally yoked to one another, and so on.
So I’m kind of caught. My conscience bothers me because I turned this couple down, and my conscience will bother me if I photograph this wedding. What do you think?
The Wedding Photographer
Dear WP,
You’re right that this situation is more complicated than whether to serve someone at a restaurant (yes) regardless of that person’s sexual or marital situation. I would also argue that the situation is very different from photographing some other event, regardless of whether you agree or disagree with the clients’ sexual or marital context. The fact that this is a wedding means there’s a different moral question for you.
You are also right that your role as a wedding photographer is different from an officiating minister, a member of the wedding party, or even an invited guest. All of those people are part of the wedding itself, the assembled witnesses who affirm the lawfulness of the union and pledge to hold the couple accountable for their vows.
If you were, say, a photojournalist for a news service, there to report on the first same-sex marriage in your state, for instance, there would be no issue for your conscience. As a wedding photographer, though, you are in a third place between participant and neutral observer.
A same-sex wedding is different, I think, from the other problematic marriages you mentioned, for a couple of reasons.
First of all, while a biblical view of marriage would see that such people (fornicators, believers to unbelievers, unlawfully divorced, etc.) should not get married, and that the church has no authority to marry them, we also would affirm that such people, when married, actually are married. A pastor who joins a believer to an unbeliever bears an awful responsibility for doing something wrong, but the end result is an actual marriage.
The same-sex marriage differs not in terms of morality, but in terms of reality. It is not that homosexuality is some sort of wholly different or unforgivable sexual sin. It’s that the historic Christian view of marriage means that without sexual complementarity there is no marriage at all.
More than that, you are right to note that your situation takes place at a moment of concerted cultural revisionism on the question of marriage as conjugal union. A same-sex wedding service right now is not merely personal, but, whether the couple intends this or not, political, with all sorts of corresponding questions.
Your conscience is conflicted right now, but suppose there’s in the near future an evangelical or Roman Catholic or Muslim photographer whose conscience would be morally opposed to participating at all in a same-sex marriage ceremony. There’s a real question as to whether the civil state will penalize this person’s conscientious objection, at least in some parts of the country. And a state that will do that has over-stepped its authority.
I would say that the decisions you’ll make, generally, as a wedding photographer will correspond often with the Corinthian dilemma of whether to eat meat that had been offered to idols (1 Cor. 8).
The Apostle Paul says, first of all, that the idols don’t represent real gods (1 Cor. 8:4), in the same way that you would argue that a wedding without a bride or a groom isn’t really a marriage. If something’s put before you, the apostle writes, eat it to the glory of God, no questions asked.
But, the apostle says, if the food is advertised as sacrificed to idols abstain from it for the sake of the consciences of those around you (1 Cor. 8:7-9). This is the difference between investigating a doughnut shop owner’s buying habits before eating there and stopping in for doughnuts when the sign out front flashes: “Eat here and support our owner’s cocaine and prostitutes habit.”
You need not investigate as a wedding photographer whether the wedding you are photographing is Christ-honoring. But when there is an obvious deviation from the biblical reality, sacrifice the business for conscience, your own and those of the ones in your orbit who would be confused.
That said, don’t be mean.
The couple asking you to do this wedding aren’t your enemies (Eph. 6:12). They are made in the image of God and are loved by him, and so should be loved by us. As orthodox Christians we don’t believe this leads to the happiness they’re looking for, but we must stand with kindness as well as with conviction. Tell the couple that you wish them well, but that you have beliefs about marriage that won’t allow your conscience to participate in this way. Thank them for asking you but recommend a photographer who can click away with a clear conscience.
Excellent response Dr. Moore. Thank you. Keep it coming.
Thank you, Dr. Moore! This is helping us flesh out the love of Christ in our culture so that we bring glory to His name.
We had an issue similar to this just last month. In Lexington, KY a screen printer chose not to print t-shirts for a GLBT organization that was going to be in a parade or a race or something…It went against what the shop owner believed and he did not want to participate in creating these shirts. The group has since sued the owner claiming discrimination and refusal of service.
As a portrait and wedding photographer, my husband and I have talked about this before. I would be careful counseling photographers to give their reasons for declining to photograph same-sex weddings. The laws are different in each state, but many states have laws that say any person who furnishes services may not “deny or terminate such … services” because of sexual orientation or gender identity or marital status.
I doubt this is an issue in Kentucky any time soon, but we have decided that I would simply tell them I am not available for their date. While I want to be honest, I also want to avoid being sued, if possible.
@Stacy Hutchens, I have the same dilemma. I have friends who are gay and they ask me to do events for them and their friends. I have done events (with a heavy heart) but out of love (money doesn’t matter). I wrestle with the lawsuit thing, and also alienating possible converts. My thought was to forewarn the “couple” that you would state your true beliefs on gay marriage if asked by anyone at that event. Maybe God will send someone your way?!
Unfortunately, some states are already prosecuting Christian photographers who refuse to photograph same sex marriages: http://radio.foxnews.com/toddstarnes/top-stories/court-says-gay-rights-trump-religious-rights.html
The sentence you use above: “It’s that the historic Christian view of marriage means that without sexual complementarity there is no marriage at all” leaves a gaping whole in the point you are trying to make. Anyone that has studied that terms knows that it is something for a couple to decide not for another. We have no right to decide what another couple considers as “sexual complementarity” for themselves. Assuming any religion or state has the right to subject that kind of judgement on another, is troubling. Perhaps this same sex couple has much more complementarity than other opposite sex couples… Who knows? Another issue you don’t raise is that, for some, marriage is just a legal status..done to enjoin all the rights that are afforded and sealing a commitment for two people to, for instance, raise children (could be natural or adopted) and live together in love in a society that provided strong incentives to do that. While I do see how careful you were to be reasonable and loving in your commentary and advice, you might have considered honing in on the judgement of others and asked what right any of us have to have an opinion about who marries who and why. Perhaps your “conscience photographer” could have been encouraged to drop her years of programming of learning to judge this couple and embarked on and enjoyed a beautiful ceremony that might have opened her eyes to a new and beautiful happening of love. She could have had a breakthrough and seen how limiting and un-American it is to restrict two people that love one another from exercising the most important right and expression we have…to love one another..and to show it to those we love. Thank you for your careful handling of the other issues, though. A thorough review of the bible reveals that the subject of homosexuality…as two people that love one another and care for one another.. is not covered..and is most certainly not condemned in any part of it. In fact, nothing is said against it in the bible. Jesus said nothing..while he spoke often of divorce…and when the subject at all comes up..it is always as rape, prostitution, incest being defined as wrong..not same sex love or mutual expression of love and unity. The same is true of opposite sex issues… The bible states many times wrong actions of debauched sex with opposite sex mates..but that does not make opposite sex wrong..does it? Let gay people marry and we honor Paul’s wishes that if you cannot “control” yourself to being non-sexual by all means get married!! :-)
@RC Barron,
I was bothered by the idea the photographer might have a breakthrough that opens his eyes, and almost responded about the notion of being “anti-American” in his judgement. The photographers conscience was seared in this case not by patriotism but by religious conviction. And then I came to this:
“A thorough review of the bible reveals that the subject of homosexuality…as two people that love one another and care for one another.. is not covered..and is most certainly not condemned in any part of it.”
Romans chapter one condemns it quite frankly. The Apostle Paul, writing to Gentiles to whom the Law had not been given, condemns homosexuality in both men and women. Such a relationship is not pleasing to God. Marriage is defined in the New Testament by Jesus when he quotes from Genesis “A man shall leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
It’s a free country and each is entitled to his beliefs. But don’t twist the words of scripture and give a false impression of what is acceptable to God. Social programming is not the issue; without judging the couple the photographer must judge between right and wrong for his own sake.
Mark, you actually bring out a good point. Should a photographer be allowed to discriminate and not take pictures because of the race, size, skin color, religion or status (handicapped, gay, etc?) I don’t think so..however, any photographer should have the right to reject a job…because they don’t want to do it. It’s the motivation that matters..otherwise, our society falls apart.
@RC Barron, good luck legislating your morality. There is no way you our anyone can determine intent. Please study the Bible and you will see(hopefully) that homosexuality is a sin.
Excellent, Dr.
Your student,
Giancarlo
Dear RC Barron,
What you have written represents well the compassionate cultural argument in favor of same-sex marriage. What you fail to understand or acknowledge is the following:
1) Regardless of how much we study terms or concepts, God has defined what sexual complementarity is: It is one man and one woman in a monogamous relationship for life. Biblically speaking, we do not get to develop and debate alternate answers for what God has already clearly decided.
2) It is judgmental for me (or anyone else) to impose on you or hold you to a standard that is of my own making. It is not judgmental for me to lovingly communicate and conscientiously abide by the clear teachings of God as revealed in Scripture. In fact, Scripture calls us to speak God’s truth in love (Eph 4). When we share God’s revealed truth, especially the truth of salvation by grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, we are displaying the greatest act of love possible.
3) Finally, regarding your position on what the Bible has to say about sex, you are right that God speaks to many abuses of His gift of sex. I would say further that, per capita, heterosexuals have done far greater damage to God’s institution of marriage and human sexuality than homosexuals. However, to say that the Bible does not specifically condemn homosexuality is simply wrong. We see it explicitly condemned in Lev 18:22, Lev 20:13, Rom 1, 1 Cor 6:9 and others. It does not matter if two people love one another and care for one another if what they are doing as an expression of their love is condemned by God. The emotions surrounding and act of sin do not justify an act of sin.
Ultimately, I think the evangelical Christian community as a whole has fallen short of fully communicating the love of Christ to homosexuals. Many have singled out homosexuality as a sin more grievous than others. Personally, I am fairly certain that I am a greater sinner than any practicing homosexual. In and of myself, I deserve only wrath and condemnation. But thanks be to Christ, who has died as my sacrifice for sin and reconciled me to Holy God. That is the good news of salvation for mankind: whether we be fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, effeminate, homosexuals, thieves, coveters, drunkards, revilers, or swindlers (1 Cor 6:9-10), we can be forgiven of our sins through faith in Jesus Christ. And as Christians, we are called to love and respect all men and women as persons made in the image of God. However, loving and respecting and ascribing the honor of human dignity to persons does not mean we condone sinful behavior or reason away the clear teachings of Scripture on the basis of human sentiment. Contrary to postmodernism, truth is truth whether or not we personally ascribe to it, and every human being shall ultimately be judged by God’s truth.
@S Merithew,
Bravo on speaking the truth with love.
@S Merithew,
Thank you!
Dear RC Barron,
Please consider Merithew’s comments and even more seriously consider what the Word of God says.
Dr. Moore,
I’ve thought a little bit about this issue from the perspective of aesthetics. Though a wedding photographer is not an artist in the “high” sense of art, he/she is nonetheless and artist. To the extent that a piece of art reflects God’s vision of reality and inspires others to embrace and love that vision, to that same extent it should be considered good art. What makes great art great is that it tells God’s truth about reality in a way that captures the imagination, grips the emotions, and increases a love for righteousness and a hatred for sin.
That said, marriage itself is a piece of art painted by God to capture the heart, grip the emotions, and increase love for the most beautiful reality in history, the gospel. So-called gay marriage, on the other hand, is bad art in the worst sense because it distorts the reality of the gospel.
Enter wedding photography. A wedding photographer’s job is to capture the “special moments” of love between a couple and enshrine them in a beautiful way for the couple to enjoy and celebrate for years. In shooting a same-sex wedding, the photographer is not just taking neutral pictures of two people in love. He is actually seeking to make the bad art of same-sex marriage a beautiful thing. And in so doing, I believe he is betraying God through his vocation, since he is using his artistic gifts to beautify something that directly tells a lie about the gospel of Jesus Christ.
I know this is an unconventional approach to this issue, but I find it extremely compelling, especially when combined with the considerations you mentioned above.
“[W]e also would affirm that such people, when married, actually are married.”
Why? If marriage – in a Christian context, anyway – is about symbolizing and partaking in the union of Christ and the Church, why would a marriage between straight nonbelievers be any more significant than a homosexual marriage?
1 Cor. 5:12: “For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the Church whom you are to judge?”
This is perhaps one of the most bizarre arguments I’ve heard:
“While you can photograph an immoral heterosexual wedding without violating one’s conscience, one cannot do so with a homosexual wedding because gay marriage doesn’t exist.”
Come again?
I’ll play along, though. Forget “gay marriage” … let’s call it a “Commitment Ceremony”. Do the same rules apply?
I’m betting they do. In fact, by merely attending such a ceremony, one is necessarily complicit in an egregious moral evil, right? At the same time, the Roman Catholic Church can *choose* to bless — in a church, before the eyes of God — the third marriage of a career politician to his second mistress with a clean conscience.
Unbelievable.
This is why the “we don’t hate gays” argument isn’t holding water with many of us anymore.
That being said, were I to decide to take advantage of a legal partnership with my partner of almost two years, I would not sue any small business who refused to participate. Coercion would mostly likely result in shoddy service, anyhow.
If I were a photographer of weddings, and I had reservations about photographing such an exchange of vows, I think I would agree to do the service with these stipulations: ” Thank you for asking me to do this service. I will do it if you want, but I must be honest with you. I will be so sad for you that day that I could break out in sobs many times ,and thus I may be less than the best photographer for you.” And, it could be true. For it is heartbreaking to see people deceived by “the lie”.
Dr. Moore I wish that you would expound on this issue more, as it is one that many of us who are orthodox Christians but who have gay friends or family whom we dearly love, confront regularly.
If I were to get married or have some other celebration, should I invite my gay friend and his boyfriend? If I choose not to, then shouldn’t I also not invite my high school friend who is living with her boyfriend? And my husband’s boss who just left his wife and children for his young secretary? What if it is my child’s baptism we’re discussing? Shouldn’t I WANT all of the above within the walls of my church?
What about the neighborhood bbq?
What about when I am invited to their homes? I would not be able to attend their ‘wedding’, my husband and I have already discussed how that would violate our conscience. So what if they buy a house together, should I skip the housewarming party? But if I draw those lines, I had better skip the housewarming of my friend and her boyfriend, and honestly, it would be much more painful for me to send a gift to my husband’s boss’s new wife’s new baby than to go to my gay friends’ Christmas party.
How do we decide where to draw the line?